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Monday, April 09, 2007

Be a Myspace Friend!


Let's be best friends! Meet me on Myspace, click here to add me!



Once we become BFF, you can order my debut novel from Amazon.com

Then meet me at Vroman's bookstore in Pasadena on May 3rd at 7pm too.
Bring the vodka martinis!

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Thursday, November 30, 2006

Its here!


A Thousand Dollars for a Kiss will be out on December 1st! So this weekend, head over to Amazon.com or Barnes and Noble online and check it out! Pour a nice tall vodka martini and settle in with the novel! Also, be a myspace friend: click here to add me!


Thanks for checking in on this site, for a dose of DistressedJeans or to read about being friends with a popstar, read the book and let me know what you think. I look forward to hearing from all of you!

Click here to order the book. Rumor has it that Britney Spears just ordered her copy, I cannot confirm or deny this though!


Wednesday, September 06, 2006

DistressedJean's Book...


DistressedJeans debut novel will be in bookstores soon!

Look for A Thousand Dollars for a Kiss at Barnes and Noble.com and Amazon.com in November 2006!

Stop by and visit at www.hellodollface.com

and http://conversationsfamouswriters.blogspot.com/

I'm waving to Suri Cruise, the most amazing, magnificent infant in the whole world!


Saturday, August 12, 2006

Visit me...

Please stop by and say hello on my other two sites:


Conversations With Famous Writers

and

Conversations About Fashion & Beauty

See you there!

xx


Sunday, May 21, 2006

Pug Bus

Hello!

Just in case you are checking in, I wanted to direct you towards The Pug Bus, a satire site where I am contributing weekly.

Check out the posts I've done on Tom Cruise remaking Mork and Mindy and Paris Hilton's newest cure for VD...and that's not short for Valentines Day.

Cheers!


Wednesday, April 19, 2006

THE END -----for now-----

I've decided to take a break from this gossip blog for a while. I'm busy with other things in my life and cannot give you the juicy celebrity news you want. The news you deserve.

I'm working on my novel, doing some volunteer work, taking care of two kids, two dogs...getting manicures and spa treatments, going to movie premieres and hanging out with A-listers. Plus I'm kind of running out of ways to say Paris Hilton's coochie is stretched out like the Grand Canyon and that Tom Cruise has brainwashed Katie Holmes and Scientology should be catalogued between Science Fiction, Alien Studies and comic books. Angelina is in Africa and who cares about Jennifer Aniston, I mean who really gives a shit? Oh, and how many times can Tara Reid beg to be taken seriously while doing shots off the belly of a male stripper?

I tried to end the blog several months ago- remember?- but I was flooded with emails that poured in like a river of vodka in the world's biggest martini glass. I kept doing it- early in the morning and late at night leaving not too much time for other stuff like shopping and getting my legs waxed. And tanning. Oh right, and sleeping.

Overwhelmed with all that is going on right now, I must take a break and not put pressure on myself to spend time scouring the news for information about famous people when I should be paying attention to other things, like uh...my kids. They really do need to eat one meal a day at least.

I'll still be doing the writers blog focusing on books, reviews and interviews trying to infuse the site with humor and fun stuff. My passion is writing and reading and promoting authors and surrounding myself with fun, creative people that inspire my imagination.

Oh all right. The truth is, I'm going to the Scientology Compound out in the desert region of Hemet California and you may never hear from me again!

Love~
Distressed Jeans

PS. If you have something unkind to say and feel compelled to post a nasty comment, please refrain from doing so because it won't do you any good. Go take a Xanax and read Dlisted, PopBytes or Tabloid Whore which are awesome blogs. Cheers!


Tuesday, April 18, 2006

Suri has arrived!

The baby is here! The baby is here! Announcements are being trumpted all over the internet! Katie finally had that baby after being pregnant for sixty weeks. Hers is the longest pregnancy I've ever witnessed! And the strangest.

She is now free to wear those stilettos boots she was eyeing up at Barneys last week.

Baby Suri was born today weighing 7lbs 7ounces. That's a small size for a kid born with long hair, teeth and needing it's nails clipped. What kind of a name is Suri? I'm sure its got some SciFi meaning.

As you know Katie is not allowed to hold Suri for a week! While Katie is in seclusion, Tom will be chowing down on some ripe placenta and enjoying a side dish of jerky that is the umbilical cord. I can't wait to see how this kid will look nothing like Tom!

And you can bet that Tom will be whoring Suri out for his publicity blitz for MI:3!

I'm thinking Suri was born 2 weeks ago weighing six pounds but the media has put pressure on Katie to produce the baby. I sure hope Katie doesnt need any anti-depressents! Oh, can reprogrammed post-natal fembots feel sad or is their emotion chip decoded?

And in other news Brooke Sheilds gave birth to her baby girl too! Dont look for Suri to be playing with baby Grier any time soon!


Saturday, April 15, 2006

BOOKS

Because its a slow news day, and I mean gossip news, I had time to update my Conversations With Famous Writers Blog.

I just completed an interview with the wonderful author Lisa Tucker (not the American Idol girl) as well as an entry about the book, Marley and Me. Have a look-see. And feel free to share your dog stories under the Marley and Me post.

Happy Easter to my lovely readers!


Friday, April 14, 2006

Nice pillow, goosedown?

That frappacino better be decaf!



Katie, can you hear me? Her dead eyes smack of interplanetary shenanigns.



That pillow is huge! Must be California king sized!

There are many conspiracies about Katie these days. I thought she had gone into hiding to have that baby like two weeks ago. I bet she did. She is totally post- partum and shopping for shoes to quell her depression because you know she isnt getting any pills! Im certain Tom will announce the brith of their twelve pound baby on May 3 when his movie opens.

The other theory is that Katie has not yet given birth. She looks enormous. If that's not a pillow then it's a Thanksgiving Day turkey under that dress.

You know that kid is not going to look a thing like Tom Cruise, favoring instead the biological father who is Tom's "special friend" and head of the Church of Science Fiction.


Celeb encounters..

"Hi, I'm cheap!" She probably expects free stuff. Why do the celebs always get freebies?



You may not think so, but David thinks he is still hot stuff. Well, he is...in Europe!


I love it when I get emails from people with real life celeb encounters. Don't you love juicy tidbits about our favorite stars? This came from Catherine, thank you!


A friend of mine who works at a resort in Maui was telling me about some of the silly celebrities she's been helping and she said she recently (last week or so) helped David Hasselhoff! She said that he was actually a bit of an ass! She told me that he was covered in age/sun spots all over his face and body, and she figured they must use a LOT of makeup on him to cover it all up. He looked old.

Also, she told me that over New Year's she spoke to Ashlee Simpson several times, and that on New Year's Eve there was a special dinner party at one of their hotel's restaurants called, "Nick's." My friend told Ashlee that the price was about $125 or $150 per person, and Ashlee complained that that was too expensive, and said, "but we're not going to eat that much." She didn't go to the restaurant.


In conclusion, David is a jerk with badly sundamaged skin and Ashlee is a penny pinching cheapskate!


Before they were famous: Sarah Jessica Parker




It's hard to tell if Sarah J had a nose job or not based on these photos. The folks over at Awful Plastic Surgery seem to think so. She defintely had some work done on her teeth. You would never guess from these pictures that she would grow up to be a famous actress!


Sister Kate of the Cocaine Convent


Kate Moss "insists her sex life is non-existent despite rumours she is has rekindled her romance with Babyshambles rocker Pete Doherty."

Probably because the drugs have ruined his ability to "perform." She told Marc Jacobs that she is living like a nun these days. Sure, she's pretending to live like Sister Magdalene in the convent. Kate is a nun like I am a Amish woman!


female first


Wax figures!




These two wax figures of Lindsay and Paris look a little manly. The hair extensions are hiding candle wicks at the top of their heads.

Nice hand on hip poses. Draws attention to LinLo's black painted nails. Hey- they should be chipped and bitten down! And where's the birth control patch on Paris Hilton's torso? You call these life-like?


The Daily Ugly: Val Kilmer


Val Kilmer used to be kind of hot. What happened? Old age and drug bloat, that's what!


FLASHBACK


This movie made me cry. Corey Haim, what a cutie he was in a dorky kind of way. Remember how popular he was? He was making movies all the time in the 80's. This movie featured a very young Charlie Sheen (pre-sex addict) and Courtney Thorne Smith played his cheerleader girlfriend.

It's such a shame that Corey had to resort to selling his wisdom teeth and hair clippings on ebay to fund his drug habit!