CrispAds Blog Ads

Tuesday, April 18, 2006

Suri has arrived!

The baby is here! The baby is here! Announcements are being trumpted all over the internet! Katie finally had that baby after being pregnant for sixty weeks. Hers is the longest pregnancy I've ever witnessed! And the strangest.

She is now free to wear those stilettos boots she was eyeing up at Barneys last week.

Baby Suri was born today weighing 7lbs 7ounces. That's a small size for a kid born with long hair, teeth and needing it's nails clipped. What kind of a name is Suri? I'm sure its got some SciFi meaning.

As you know Katie is not allowed to hold Suri for a week! While Katie is in seclusion, Tom will be chowing down on some ripe placenta and enjoying a side dish of jerky that is the umbilical cord. I can't wait to see how this kid will look nothing like Tom!

And you can bet that Tom will be whoring Suri out for his publicity blitz for MI:3!

I'm thinking Suri was born 2 weeks ago weighing six pounds but the media has put pressure on Katie to produce the baby. I sure hope Katie doesnt need any anti-depressents! Oh, can reprogrammed post-natal fembots feel sad or is their emotion chip decoded?

And in other news Brooke Sheilds gave birth to her baby girl too! Dont look for Suri to be playing with baby Grier any time soon!


27 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...
Is Suri really the baby's name?? @ 7:39 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...
Anon 7:39 - yep, it is really Suri. Means princess or Xenu Is Pleased or something. What's wrong with Jane or Susan or Mary? @ 8:16 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...
I think it's repulsive not to let the mother hold the baby for a week. How is the baby fed-via breast pump? Bonding is sooooo important from birth. That's going to screw up the kid more than any noise during birth would.

At least the pregnancy watch is over with. Now we can move on to updates on the baby's progress and the multi-million-dollar extravaganza wedding. @ 11:17 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...
Yeah. The Scientologist at my local Safeway had a big sign on their table, saying, congrats Tom and Kate. One of the ladies, said - did you hear the news, she is here!

Oye.
Rachel @ 11:30 PM  
Blogger Manic Mom said...
Hey DJ--long time no talk! I just posted my own birth announcement over at Manic's--this is just too good not to talk about!

Is it true that Katie isn't allowed to hold her pillow now that it's finally been removed from under her shirt? How sad indeed?

And now we can all watch as Brangelina preps to have their baby. TomKat's kid sounds kind of like a name Brange might have picked for their kid. Hope there's not an argument over that one!

DJ--email me with the scoop on your book--haven't talked in a looonnng time! Hope you are well! @ 12:09 AM  
Anonymous parissucksliterally said...
I too find the separation appalling. The first milk after the baby is born has the most important nutrients for the baby. Then again, if another woman had the baby for Katie- then it will probably be with her. @ 12:14 AM  
Anonymous Tempae said...
Suri ... the Hebrew name for "princess" & "red rose" (according to Yahoo!) ...
Its somehow fitting. Anon 11:30 was onto something bigger than she knew... This marks the birth of the new SciTi leader. Kind of like those weird 80's movies with Val Kilmer where the promised child revolts the entire evil colony of freaks.

I wonder if they will try to wipe the rest of us out independence day style... But atleast we all know that if Will Smith cant help us his wife has been pretty scary lately! @ 9:17 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...
In Japan, Suri means pick pocket.

Suri I was told was to honor the Surrogate mothership that the baby alien was brought in. @ 9:34 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...
The week is to allow the baby to bond with someone else...perhaps Tom....or some church elder type..and put a wedge between mother and child..she will never feel like that baby is hers and kate will feel that others can make better decisions for the baby. So sad. When you are giving up a baby for adoption the same type of thing happens that is why they discourage the new Mom from holding the baby..simple psychiatry. Sad, sad, sad. I hope her parents can help her. @ 9:36 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...
Anon 9:36
I think Cruise has bonded (rite of manipulation) with the baby. I imagine that Tom has started the breastfeeding by now. @ 10:43 AM  
Blogger enoughparis said...
Suri is not hebrew it's Hindu for princess. Stupid Tomcult PR lackey. @ 11:24 AM  
Blogger Hazim said...
Hey. Hazim here...again.
In Malay, Suri means "housewife". yay. @ 11:26 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...
All I have to say is "Cruise" and "Suri". Take away the first and last letter, middle letters add up to "Suri". @ 12:14 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...
In Xenuese, Suri means "she who is merely a publicity stunt." @ 12:17 PM  
Blogger Manic Mom said...
Anon 9:34 and Anon 12:17--YOU TWO CRACKED ME UP!!!!

And good to point out the letters of S U R I are in C R U I S E... the remaining letters of C and E stand for...
Crazy Egotist! @ 12:35 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...
Anyone who reads this post needs to visit this web site:

http://www.scientology-kills.org/

Click the link that says, "Will Katie Starve the Baby". It's amazing. This "religion" doesn't believe in breastfeeding, nor do they believe in offering commercial formula.

They give the baby barley water sweetened with corn syrup!

It's completely revolting how these people are with thier kids.

AND---Jett Travolta suffers from autism. The Travolta's can't publicly admit it, though, because to do so would mean they're admitting their child has some kind of psychological 'fault'. So, instead, they claim he has something called Kawasakis as the result of exposure to housecleaning chemicals.

It's CRAZY! Crazy, crazy, CRAZY! @ 3:15 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...
@ Hazim

In Malay "suri" means Queen. The longer version is Permaisuri (Beautiful Queen). Housewife = Suri Rumahtangga (Queen of the House). You obviously don't know your own language! @ 1:37 AM  
Blogger Leezer said...
I heard that Suri means mop or dentist or bottle cap, I can't remember. Oh, and Tom had the baby's placenta freeze dried so he can fit it in his fanny pack and preserve it for his MI:666 premier. @ 11:37 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...
Well, in Estonian, SURI means "died". A morbid name. @ 9:30 AM  
Blogger C Love "The Rap Addict" said...
OMG!! that pic is hillarious!!! @ 11:32 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...
Please ... someone take Suri's Daddy and Mom to a dentist... or is that against Tom's belief? @ 4:23 PM  
Blogger 传世私服 said...
传世私服
传奇世界私服
传世私服
最新传世私服
跑跑卡丁车
传奇世界私服
最新传世私服
传世私服
传奇私服
千年私服
最新千年私服
千年私服
新开千年私服
新开传世私服
奇迹私服
变态奇迹私服
奇迹私服ip
千年私服
传奇私服 @ 10:08 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...
Suri...what a cute name. I thing it is the perfect name for such a beautiful little baby. Toner @ 4:37 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...
I think all these scientology bla bla is for advertisement.

Diyet

Rüya Tabirleri @ 6:04 AM  
Anonymous diyet programları said...
thank you very nice info @ 6:16 PM  
Anonymous mineral makeup said...
companies marketing mineral makeups and also get the best bargains in mineral makeup you can imagine,
find aout how to consolidate your students loans or just how to lower your actual rates.,
looking for breast enlargements? in Rochester,
homeopathy for eczema learn about it.,
Allergies, information about lipitor,
save big with great bargains in mineral makeup,

change edition interviewing motivational people preparing second
,

interviewing motivational people preparing second time
,

interviewing people motivational preparing for a second time
,

black mold exposure
,

black mold exposure symptoms
,

black mold symptoms of exposure
,

free job interview questions
,

free job interview answers
,

interview answers to get a job
,

lookfor hair styles for fine thin hair
,

search hair styles for fine thin hair
,

hair styles for fine thin hair
,

beach resort in the philippines
,

great beach resort in the philippines
,

luxury beach resort in the philippines
,
iron garden gates, here,
iron garden gates,
wrought iron garden gates
, here
,
wrought iron garden gates
,
You: The Owner's Manual: An Insider's Guide to the Body That Will Make You Healthier and Younger
,
eat eating mindless more than think we we why
,


texturizer,
texturizers here,
black hair texturizer,
find aout how care curly hair,
find about how to care curly hair,
care curly hair,
lipitor rash,
lipitor reactions,
new house ventura california,
the house new houston tx,
new house washington dc,
new house pa philadelphia,
san antonio tx house new,
house new pa philadelphia,
new house washington dc,
new house ventura california,
the house new houston tx,
house new san antonio tx,
the house new houston tx, that you are looking for,
new house ventura california, you need to buy,
new house washington dc,
house new pa philadelphia,
new house san antonio tx,

hair surgery transplant
,

air filter allergy
,

refurbished dell laptop computers
,

hair surgery transplant
,

air filter allergy
,

refurbished dell laptop computers
,

hair surgery transplant
,

air filter allergy
,

refurbished dell laptop computers
,

chocolate esophagus heartburn study
,

chocolate esophagus heartburn study
be informed,

digestion healing healthy heartburn natural preventing way
,

digestion healing healthy heartburn natural preventing way
,
sew skirts, 16simple styles you can make!,
sew what skirts 16 simple styles you,
rebates and discounts on sunsetter awnings,
sunsetter awnings discounts and rebates,
discount on sunsetter awnings


truck and bus tires 12r 22.5, get the best price,
tires truck and bus 12r 22.5 best price,
tires truck bus tires12r 22.5 best price,
plush car seat strap covers,
car seat strap covers,plush,
car seat strap, plush covers,
oscoda voip phone systems, the best!,
oscoda voip the phone system,
oscoda voip phone systems,
exterior iron gates,
oriental wrought iron gates,
powder coated iron garden fencing, @ 1:16 PM  
Anonymous air matress said...
black mold exposure,
black mold symptoms of exposure,

wrought iron garden gates,
your next iron garden gates, here,

hair styles for fine thin hair,
search hair styles for fine thin hair,

night vision binoculars,
buy, night vision binoculars,

lipitor reactions,
lipitor reactions,

luxury beach resort in the philippines,
beach resort in the philippines,

homeopathy for baby eczema.,
homeopathy for baby eczema.,

save big with great mineral makeup bargains,
companies marketing mineral makeups,

prodam iphone praha,
Apple prodam iphone praha,

iphone clone cect manual,
manual for iphone clone cect,

fero 52 binoculars night vision,
fero 52 night vision,

best night vision binoculars,
buy, best night vision binoculars,

computer programs to make photo albums,
computer programs, make photo albums,


craftmatic adjustable air bed
craftmatic adjustable air bed, info here

boyd night air bed
boyd night air bed, low price

air bed in wisconsin
best air beds in wisconsin

cloud air inflatable bed
best cloud air inflatable beds

portable sealy air bed
portables, sealy air beds

aluminum rv luggage racks
aluminum made, rv luggage racks

air bed form raised
best air beds form raised

support equipments aircraft
best support equipments for aircrafts

informercials bed air
best, informercials bed air

mattress sized air beds
best mattress sized air bed

antique doorknob identification
antique doorknob, identification tips

troubleshooting dvd player
troubleshooting with the dvd player

flat panel television lcd versus plasma
flat panel television, lcd versus plasma pic the best

causes of economic recession
what are the causes of economic recession

free printable tax forms
free printable IRS tax forms

bed air foam adjustable
bed air adjustable foam

hoof prints antique and unusual equestrian prints
hoof prints, antique equestrian prints

buy adjustable air bed
buy the best adjustable air beds

air bedscanadian stores
air beds, cheap canadian stores @ 9:40 AM  
Post a Comment   | << Home